I am currently a year two life-science undergraduate in NUS. I am a highly motivated individual with an out-going personality. I love new challenges and the feeling of satisfaction when completing them. My goal in life is “to aspire to inspire”, to add value to people around me and contribute actively to society.
My interest in the field of life-sciences began in secondary school where I was taught by Mr Hafiz, a really engaging teacher. He made me realise the wonders of nature phenomenon such as photosynthesis that we sometimes take for granted. He inspired me to enjoy biology and I became the top biology student in my level, and it also led me to pursue my degree in Life-Science.
I started guitar playing when I was twenty, and being able to play this wonderful instrument has given me joy in life. It also gave me confidence which translated to other areas of my life. Although it was really tough in the beginning, I worked hard at it with determination and perseverance. Within a short period I was able to play comfortably on the guitar. This gave me confidence that I can achieve what I set my heart and mind to.
With life science and music as my two of my greatest passions, I dream of being able to marry the two important aspects of my life. This dream sparked my interest in neuroscience. Although my peers have loftier ambitions of wanting to find cure for incurable diseases such as Parkinson disease, my humble ambition is to explore how our brain interprets music and perhaps make music even more enjoyable.
I also believe in giving back to the society through community work and services. In 2005 and 2007, I participated in overseas community work, planning and experiencing community service trips to Thailand. The opportunities to work with people in my team and interaction with people of a different culture taught me valuable interpersonal skills which has certainly equipped me the relevant organizational and leadership skills to handle the challenges I may face in future.
I am easy going and can get along with people of all types of personality. Being fluent in both English and Mandarin, I also picked up Thai as my third language. Apart from music, I also enjoy playing sports and reading.
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Hi Zhengyang,
ReplyDeleteImpressive bio-data you have there. It is persuasive and informative, giving your reader or potential employer a better insight of yourself. The structure is clear and the information you provided is concise and easy to understand.
Firstly, I liked the way you presented your experiences and description of yourself. The motivational reason behind your selection of Life Science, your voluntary services in Thailand and the passion in music are all clearly stated and adequately explained. Next the tone of your bio-data comes off as being earnest and down-to-earth. This portray of yourself could make you stand out amongst your peers and well be persuasive to your potential employer with regards to your character and attitude.The ways in which you related your personal beliefs and your actions also enabled you to distinguish yourself as a mature candidate who knows his direction in life.
On a side note, I feel that there are just some other minor pointers that you could consider in your bio-data too. One such point is the fact that you mentioned “my humble ambition” which I feel could be a tad to modest. Humility is good but over trend over this fine line could be interpreted as being lack of confidence for personal dream. Another one could be the final paragraph in which I felt it ended your bio-data a bit abruptly. It seems to let the reader “hang in mid air” in expect for something more. Hence maybe you could just refine that.
Hope this comments help.
Regards,
Wei Xiong
Dear Zhengyang,
ReplyDeleteNice link between life science and music there! It is good that you can link these two different subjects together. Your ambition of exploring how our brain interprets music seems really interesting and this is what makes your personal statement appealing to me.
However, like what Wei Xiong mentioned, I feel that your ending seems a bit abrupt. Maybe you could round it off by briefly summarizing your qualities or life's motto or insert a quote like what some classmates did.
Cheers,
Chai Yee
Hi Wei Xiong and Chai Yee,
ReplyDeleteThank you both for commenting. After reading my personal statement again, I realised that both of you are right that my ending was too abrupt and inconclusive. I could have “grounded” it with a summary of the above-mentioned points. I also realised that my personal statement was a little too long. I think I could have been a little more concise and to the point.
Chai Yee, I like your advice to add a quote or life’s motto to summarise my points. I think I could add that point in for my future bio-data.
Regards,
Zhengyang.