This personal state is written for the UAB(University of Alabama at Birmingham) Neuroscience Graduate Program.
The website is at http://neuroscience-uab.infomedia.com/content.asp?id=369494
Statement of Purpose
I first learnt how to play the guitar nearly two years ago. I can still vividly remember the first time I tried, it was really terrible. My wrist was sore from bending and my fingers hurt terribly from pressing the strings. However I did not give up as I had set my mind on it. Thus I persevered. Within two years I became the lead singer and guitarist for my church band. This was only possible because of my determined attitude. Although this success came at a painful price, it was totally worth it as music continues to give me great joy in life. I am certain with this tenacity I possess I will be able to persevere even when obstacles arise and especially so in the area of research where the road to success is a long and arduous one.
Playing in a band has taught me many lessons and one of the most important lessons is team work. I play in a five piece band consisting of a keyboardist, a bassist, a drummer and two guitarists. I recall when we first started out, it was difficult as all of us came from different musical backgrounds and was hard to come to a consensus. It was particularly hard to give up individuality to gel as a team, and it took an awful performance for me to learn that lesson. After that particular performance, I realised the importance of teamwork and have to disregard my individuality for the sake of the team. After a short span of three months, the band was able to give a much improved performance at a church event. I believe being a team player is important in a research team where collaborative effort is essential just like in a band, and I possess that attribute.
I used to have stage frights every single time I am on stage. Once I had to sing in front of about a hundred people and I was freaked out. However as I started singing, I felt relaxed and I found I enjoyed it. Singing has brought me confidence and this is translated to other aspects of my life, making me a more assured person.
My fascination with music led me to become curious with the intricacy of our human brain. I marvel at how the human brain is able process electrical pulses generated by the ear into the wonderful thing we call music. It is intriguing as to how the brain is able to recognise the rise and fall of melody, harmony of chords or even discordant. This made me decide to enrol in an undergraduate course in Biology, in hope of understanding the complexity of the brain. I am excited about the research programme your neuroscience department offers as I believe that I will benefit greatly from learning under a neuroscience mentor in permanent lab which is not offered in many universities.
Therefore I believe that with the determination and the confidence that I possess, I can excel in whatever I set my heart to. I am certain that I will be a valuable asset to your Graduate Programme. I look forward to using the creativity and tenacity I demonstrated in playing for my band to meet new challenges at the graduate level and later in my career to become an innovative neuroscientist.
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Hi Zhengyang,
ReplyDeleteIt's a pity that nobody commented on your post. Honestly, I don't know if this is the right way to approach a personal statement. However, I have to say that I can feel your emotions from this article and it gave me a clearer idea of how you would work through any dischord (pardon the pun) in your team.
On the other hand, I feel that there is too little info on your interests in neuroscience and your current studies. Perhaps some work in neuroscience for your FYP might boost this personal statement.
Wang Ting
Hi Zhengyang,
ReplyDeleteThis personal statement you have written is indeed different from the conventional cover letters, which I guess many of us have read in the course of the week. It’s like a bout of fresh air.
I guess since this is a personal statement, it would be harder to write and critic since there is no universally approved benchmark for it; therefore I can only offer some general suggestions which I hope might help.
Firstly, your letter is highly personal as you referred mainly to your musical side. This might let you stand out especially since it might be considered unconventional for a science graduate to portray his more artistic side instead of the usual scientific research experience or papers published. However you might want to consider balancing the artistic persona with the other scientific part of you to impress upon them that you are an all-rounded person. After all, this is a science graduate program where prior scientific knowledge and skills are of utmost importance in the selection process.
Other than this issue, I think you can afford to be more “personalized” in this letter, in the sense that you could be more engaging to the targeted audience. You could provide more varied experiences that could be both good and bad. This might even let them develop a more significant impression of your application.
Overall, your personal statement is well organized and persuasive. I liked the part whereby you linked the music interest of yours with the graduate program they offered in the second last paragraph.
P.S. People comments is one thing, others' appreciation of your letter is another. Hence Wang Ting, I guess others might be busy so they didn’t really have time to review this post. Moreover being "alternative" isn't that good?
"Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference"
Doesn't Robert Frost best sums this up?
Regards,
Wei Xiong
Hello Wang Ting and Wei Xiong,
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you both for your comments. I do agree with Wang Ting that I did not cover much on the neuroscience part as I am only a year two and have not really dealt with neuroscience yet in the course of my studies. As such I have decided to change the focus of my personal statement as I will not have too much to write until I have done my FYP on neuroscience. With the advice of Ms Goh, I decided to have another personal statement written on application for SEP (Student Exchange Programme). Below is the personal statement that I have rewritten and submitted. Once again I want to thank you both for taking time to read and comment.
Personal Statement for Exchange to Stockholm University
The SEP is a perfect programme for me as a Singaporean to get out of my comfort zone and engage the world. This programme gives me an opportunity to have a different learning experience. I have chosen Stockholm University, which is an institution renowned for their research in DNA. This is highly relevant to my major as a Life-Science Student.
Participating in an overseas student exchange programme would be a short but very significant chapter in my life. Though I would be miles away from home and loved ones, I hope to become more independent and adaptable in a different environment. This is also an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to explore and experience the rich history and culture of a Scandinavian country. Although my academic results may not be outstanding, I possess the desire to learn and this is demonstrated by taking the initiative to step out to go for exchange and learn new things outside of NUS and Singapore.
With Stockholm University prioritizing Cell Biology as one of its key areas of strategic focus, Stockholm is the place to be for DNA research. I am currently taking the module “molecular biology”, and learnt about how DNA is folded and packaged. Although I have a basic understanding, I am interested to learn more about the mechanisms of DNA replication at Stockholm University, in particular how ATP-dependent Chromatin remodeling complexes regulate DNA packaging. I am also hugely interested in learning more about Stockholm University‘s research on Bio-membranes, which have important implications for the future development of medicines.
Being one of the leading universities in Sweden, Stockholm University has produced 4 outstanding Nobel laureates –3 of which were involved in scientific research, which highlights the school’s contribution to the advancement of science. Stockholm University also produced 3 Prime Ministers of Sweden and 1 Prime Minister of Greece. This clearly shows that Stockholm University is a school which is not only capable of developing impressive scientists but also outstanding leaders. I hope to be accepted for this programme as I would be honoured to learn in such an environment where such qualities have been nurtured.
With over 50,000 students, Stockholm University is one of the largest universities in Sweden, with people of many different nationalities. I will be able to learn extensively from them and exchange ideas with the brightest minds from across the globe. For this exchange, I have taken the module “professional communication” which has increased my cultural awareness. Therefore I believe that I am equipped to interact comfortably with people from different cultural backgrounds.
I believe I have the necessary qualities to go for SEP and be a good ambassador of NUS and Singapore to the community at Stockholm University. With their leading research in the area of Cell Biology, I will benefit immensely from this exchange programme, and would be most pleased to share my SEP experiences with fellow undergraduate and juniors. I would greatly appreciate an opportunity to embark on this exciting journey.