You were having dinner with your usual group of friends, Mark and Wayne. You noticed that Alan did not turn up.
Now Mark, Wayne and Alan had always worked for ABC Company selling laptops during the IT shows held every three months. Alan only managed to get the job through the recommendations of Mark and Wayne.
In between dinner, Alan messaged Mark that he would not be working for ABC at the upcoming IT-show as he just went for an interview at XYZ Company and he got the job. Both Mark and Wayne were indignant as Alan did not bother to inform them that he was going to switch company and they felt “betrayed”. They were also unhappy that he did not include them as they did on previous job opportunities.
Wayne then decided to call Alan to clarify matters. When questioned why he went for the interview without informing them, he could not explain himself and instead kept asking them to “come down for the interview now”. Wayne replied that they were not in the vicinity and it will be too late to rush down and asked him if he will forsake working for XYZ if Mark and he could not work for XYZ. Alan replied that he will still do so. Wayne and Mark then felt that Alan was placing “money” over “brotherhood” as XYZ offers better pay.
You know Wayne, Mark and Alan very well and do not wish to see their relationship sour. What do you think you should do to resolve the conflict between the three of them?
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Hi Zheng Yang,
ReplyDeleteI believe that Alan probably has his reasons for looking for greener pastures. Perhaps it was a personal or rather sensitive problem (eg debt or family problem), which is why he could not explain himself over the phone. Since Wayne and Mark are rather sore, I would try to speak to Alan in private to try to identify this problem. Subsequently, you could mediate the matter as an objective third party.
Personally, I see no problem with my friend going over to a better-paid job. In fact, I would feel happy for him. I would explain to Mark and Wayne that they should feel the same and congratulate him instead. In my eyes, seeking improvement is the mark of a champion. I would even encourage them to find better jobs at different places.
Wang Ting
P.S. Since this is professional communication, that's how I'll handle it professionally. Honestly, since we're such good friends, I would scold Wayne and Mark for being so selfish and childish.
Hi Zhengyang,
ReplyDeleteAs their good friend and a third party in this situation, I would think that you are the best person to act as mediator. Perhaps, you could start from understanding why Alan wanted a change of job suddenly. While it may be due to better job prospects, it could also be that Alan is need of money due to personal reasons. You could try to find out first to avoid further misunderstandings. If Alan did not have a good explanation as to why he decided to job hop, you could tell him that this incident has affected his friendship with Wayne and Mark. Wayne and Mark have always roped him in whenever there are good job prospects. Hence, you should remind Alan that he should reciprocate.
After talking to Alan, you should explain to Wayne and Mark why Alan had job hopped without informing them and roping them into the new company. If Wayne and Mark are not convinced to forgive Alan after hearing out Alan’s reasons, you could reason with them that it is not worth it for them to fall out over a trivial matter and they should feel happy for Alan that he has better job prospects. While Alan may not have dealt well in this matter, they should forgive him on the account of the long term friendship they had.
-Xin Wei-
Hi Wang Ting and Xin Wei,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I am happy to update you that the conflict has been resolved and our friendship is as strong as ever.
I assure you that Alan does not have any financial difficulty nor any family problem. The problem lies predominatly with the lack of proper communication.
Alan is someone who always seek improvement and when he found a better job, he did not hesitate to jump right in. However as Xinwei has pointed out, he should reciprocate and rope Wayne and Mark in too. The truth is he did try although he was unsuccessful and he did not mention it to the both of them which caused the misunderstanding.
The misunderstanding was finally solved when Wayne took the initiative to talk to Alan in private to clear the air. They managed to communicate their concerns clearly face to face to resolve the issue.
Once again I want to thank you, Xin Wei and Wang Ting for your comments.
Regards,
Zhengyang